


Faking Smiles For Mr. Horan

by leonpaladin



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-08 00:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leonpaladin/pseuds/leonpaladin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam and Niall used to be inseparable – until high school, that is. With Liam’s recent bullying incident as the last straw, Niall’s determined to find out what’s wrong and fix things between them. And perhaps earn Liam’s admittance of his feelings for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faking Smiles For Mr. Horan

One of the hardest things for Liam Payne was going to school. No, it’s not about the subjects; he was perfectly smart, thank you very much. What he couldn’t take when going to school was pretending – his continuous pretending to be _just_ Niall Horan’s best friend. Who is Niall, you may ask? Well, Niall’s the captain of the school’s football team: Blonde, handsomely pale, and charming.

Almost every girl in the school was head-over-heels for him, swooning on every occasion that they see him passing by. You may be wondering what the connection is  between the regular fainting of girls to Liam’s dislike of being _just_ Niall’s best friend, and the answer is quite simple: He’s in love with him.

No, seriously, Liam’s in love with Niall.

When Liam woke up one dull, cloudy Friday, everything seemed normal. After getting ready for school and having breakfast, it was now off to school. He dreaded weekdays when he had to be on the sidelines, when he had to be that nerd of a best friend in comparison to Niall. That’s why, as he walked gloomily and adjusted his glasses every now and then, Liam didn’t notice a small poster that announced a carnival arriving that weekend.

He always missed the weekends, though short-lived, when he and Niall would hang-out – playing FIFA on the game console, watching cheesy movies, or just snuggling (yes, they snuggle; you can see why Liam _loved_ weekends so much) on the couch until they both fall asleep. It was the only time when Niall wasn’t a football star and he wasn’t so much of a nerd. It was the only time when they were just themselves: two friends no matter the differences.

Liam didn’t notice that he’d already reached the school. As he entered, shying off from other people whom he knew were laughing at how he looked and dressed behind his back, Liam yelped when Niall suddenly jumped on his back.

“Morning, Payno!” greeted the blonde lad.

“Gerrofme!” replied Liam.

Niall laughed. “Was that Italian or gibberish?”

“Stop being childish,” retorted Liam, glaring at him. “People are staring.”

“Aww, I made my Leemo mad,” Niall pouted.

Liam’s eyes widened. He tried forcing back the light blush on his cheeks. Since when did Niall’s name callings become possessive? _My_ Leemo? Though it might’ve been just a joke, Liam could feel his heart swell up a hundred times more as he thought of him being Niall’s and being his boy–

“Earth to Liam!” shouted Niall.

“Huh? Wha–” Liam turned into a blushing mess. As much as he wanted to hate Niall to being so intoxicating every single time, he can’t. Neither can he resist those blue eyes or his deep Irish accent. And so when Niall went closer to him, the blush on his face became more evident.

“Are you okay?” asked Niall, staring intently at the taller lad. “You seem off today…”

“’M fine,” muttered Liam, pushing back his glasses and flashing the fake smile he always used when Niall becomes too worried about him. The smile always works though, and Niall still hasn’t been able to find out that his best friend’s smiles were all but lies.

Niall tiptoed, his hands resting on Liam’s shoulders, and kissed the older lad’s forehead. Liam could feel a chill on his spine as Niall’s lips pressed against his skin, and he could feel the stares of every student passing by. “Niall…” Liam let out, his voice warning.

“Why are you so tall?” whispered Niall with a giggle. “Honestly, I can’t kiss you properly.”

“ _Niall_ ,” hissed Liam. He should’ve been pleased by those words but he wasn’t. Instead he became hurt even more because he knew what Niall meant and it didn’t mean anything like what he wanted it to mean. Niall meant his forehead, not his lips; he meant he was his friend, not something beyond that.

But Niall wasn’t listening, his small grin was never faltering even under Liam’s stare. He wrinkled his nose and continued, “So tall just like Harry… It’s not fair that the two of you tower me by inches. Good thing Lou’s not taller, otherwise I’d feel left out–”

The school bell rang and Liam, impervious whether would hurt Niall’s feeling or not, shrugged the Irish lad off his shoulders and walked away muttering, “I have to go…”

“See you on second period!” replied Niall gleefully, also impervious that the more he talked, the more the feelings Liam had for him was driving the older lad insane.

________________________

Even if the bell rang, Liam knew that their teacher in History was always late. So when he got to the classroom, his classmates were all running around, like a bunch of three-year olds, and talking to each other. He went to his seat and, in addition to his already stressful morning, Zayn decided to pester him as well.

“Morning, Li!” chirped the raven haired lad, poking Liam’s cheek. When Liam growled, Zayn chuckled instead of being intimidated. It was normal for Liam to be acting like that; there was nothing odd about him being a bit off. “Someone’s grumpy today,” teased Zayn. “Let me guess, you’re still in deep turmoil over the fact that you’re in love with your best friend?”

“Sharrup…” said Liam, face buried onto his bag which he was hugging to hide his expression and blushing face.

“Just tell him.” Zayn’s tone turned from teasing to thoughtful. Liam didn’t know if Zayn was looking at him or just randomly saying things that might help while doing something else, but nevertheless, that sentence was what Zayn had been telling him over and over again. “It’s not like the world’s gonna end if you tell Niall that you like him,” he added.

“You don’t understand,” replied Liam, lifting himself off the bag and glaring at the raven haired lad in front of him. “I’m his best friend. And as his best friend, I’m not supposed to–”

“–fall in love with him. Yeah, yeah, I know. You’ve told me that a million times,” said Zayn, rolling his eyes. “But have you ever wondered _why_ Niall’s so cuddly with you and nobody else? I know you’ll tell me that that’s what best friends do but Liam he _practically_ kisses you – in the hallway! He’s so intimate like no best friend should be…”

“Did you smoke pot this morning?” fired Liam.

“Hell no!” replied Zayn. “What I’m pointing out, Li, is that you should stop being such a scaredy-cat and just tell him how you feel…and maybe he feels the same way about you too.”

“He doesn’t,” answered Liam full of conviction. “I’m just his best friend.”

Before Zayn could even reply, the classroom door opened and their teacher – a bearded man with poor eyesight – came tumbling in, carrying thick books. With the whole class groaning, the previous conversation the two of them had were lost into worry that Mr. Burns was going to have them write another ten-paged essay on exploding planes and dictators.

_________________________

The rest of the morning was the same usual thing as it always had been. Except Niall was not too keen on pestering Liam anymore during the class they shared together after the older lad snapped at him, making their other classmates’ heads turn to them as they waited for the Biology teacher to arrive. The Irish lad could see the hurt look in Liam’s eyes but he didn’t understand why. He thought it would be better if he just let Liam be alone for a while. But as the class went on, the mitotic cell division on the microscope wasn’t enough to distract Niall from looking at Liam who had his back on him.

At lunch, Niall was called over by his coach so Liam was forced to eat at the cafeteria only with Zayn who, by now, kept eating in silence. When Liam glanced at the raven haired lad munching on the burrito, Zayn smiled at him as if feeling guilty for making him more miserable than he already was.

“I snapped at him,” Liam confessed. “He was just trying to cheer me up – I know that – but in the end all I did was get frustrated at him.”

“You know,” started Zayn, finishing off the burrito before wiping his fingers with a tissue, “I kinda noticed that you’re becoming more and more frustrated at Niall ever since he dated that senior cheerleader last year. Is that it? Is that what all this is all about?”

“I dunno,” mumbled Liam. “Maybe? I mean, she’s nice… But every time Ni kissed her, it was like I’m being torn apart. I know they’re not together anymore – God knows why they broke up – but I feel like–”

“–like you’ve got nothing to offer him unlike them?” finished Zayn. “Liam James Payne, you’re his best friend. You’ve practically given yourself _for_ him. Have you ever thought that maybe the reason why Niall goes off finding someone else is because you’re not making yourself available for him? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but you dismiss every affection Niall gives you as nothing. I’m serious, Liam. He’s been trying to make a move on you for, like, forever and you don’t even let him.”

“I don’t think I can live in that fantasy of yours,” said Liam, rather eloquently.

“Denial!” said Zayn, frustrated. “No matter how well you cloak your words, you’re still denying the fact that you really _do_ have a chance.” The raven haired lad stood up, flustered, and picked up his tray. “It’s not a fantasy, Liam: it’s what reality looks like. And if you don’t believe me, then don’t expect me to come to your house again in the middle of the night to be your shoulder to cry on all because Niall’s with someone else who’s not _stupid_ enough to be such a big _wimp_.”

Zayn could see that Liam was hurt; of course he _knew_ it would hurt.

“Zayn, I–”

“I’m your friend, Liam,” continued Zayn. “I may not be your best friend, but I dare say I’m trying to be a bloody good one.”

For the rest of the day, even during classes they shared together, Zayn wasn’t talking to Liam. It was the first time the raven haired lad was giving him the silent treatment, being such a support most of the time when Liam comes whining about his problems concerning Niall.

After their last class of the day though, Zayn wasn’t able to hold back the goodbye to Liam. But that was it, after the goodbye Zayn was gone. And as Liam walked back to his locker, wanting to get one of his morning books for an assignment, he did not expect to get shoved hard onto the metal lockers.

“Look boys, the nerd’s all alone,” laughed the voice Liam was so familiar with. As expected, he got lifted up and he faced the sneering expression of one of the seniors, Jason. “Not so tough without Horan or Malik by your side, eh, Payne?”

“FUCK OFF!” spat Liam.

As a result, Liam’s face got slammed onto the locker again; he could feel the metal slicing through his skin and sure enough, he was bleeding. The cut on his left cheek was for a while left untouched as Jason continued to bully him. “Got some nerve, Payne,” hissed Jason. “You know what we do to guys like you? Well, let’s find out–”

“HEY!”

Like a savior, the archetype hero of every story, Niall was standing a few meters away; his eyes were flaring with anger. Behind him were two people Liam knew well: Louis and Harry. All three of them had angry looks on their faces but Niall most especially.

Liam felt Jason let go of him and hissed. “You got lucky this time, Payne.” He suddenly left along with the group of boys he was with, disappearing from the corridor in a hurry. Liam slammed onto the locker; pain suddenly rushed on his back side. After that, he blacked out.

__________________________

It was dark when Liam woke up but where he was wasn’t the tiled floor of the school corridor anymore; he was back at his house and on his bed. The last thing that Liam remembered was him getting rescued by Niall, but the Irish lad was nowhere in sight in the bedroom. He was alone.

He turned to the nightstand on his right and saw the first aid kit open, with its contents littered on top of the bedside table. Clouds of cotton balls stained with blood and antiseptic gathered there as well. But the most intriguing thing was the fact that Niall’s backpack was on the floor, leaned onto the nightstand.

Niall was there after all…

The door opened, light from the hall flooding in, and the Irish lad went in, eyes peered on his phone and visibly typing. After what seemed like a minute, Niall pocketed his phone and plopped down on the bed beside Liam. He scooted closer to the older lad, resting his head on Liam’s shoulder while his hand snaked across the taller lad’s torso.

“You didn’t tell me that your mom wasn’t home,” mumbled Niall.

“I don’t see why I have to tell you everything,” relied Liam coldly. “It’s not as if you care…”

“What the hell is going on with you?!” said Niall frustratingly, sitting up and glaring at Liam. “Why are you so mad at me all of the sudden?”

Liam blinked. “I’m sorry,” he still didn’t sound so sincere and sounded more emotionless than before, “I just–I dunno… I don’t _know_ what’s going on with me either.”

“Are you sick?” Niall’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What? No,” answered Liam monotonously, shaking his head lightly. “I’m okay…well, I, uh, mean I’m fine like not sick fine.”

Silence.

“I ordered pizza,” stated Niall, “because I didn’t want the house to get burned when I cook something…”

“I can cook–”

“No,” said Niall sternly. “You’re not going anywhere. You have a concussion – plus you’ve already thrown up twice in the bathroom when you tried to stand up, and you probably don’t remember that since you passed out again after that – so you’re staying here, in bed, until you’re okay.”

“Fine,” said Liam, giving up.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang and Niall left the room. Liam stared up at his ceiling, asking why he being so cruel to his best friend that day. Having found no answer, he turned to the nightstand where a picture of him and Niall a few years back was surrounded by the items of the first aid kit: Niall had braces back then, and Liam, well, he looked the same except he wasn’t that much muscular in the picture compared to now. They looked younger in the picture, of course, but they looked much happier too. The way Niall was clinging to him like a koala bear, with the Irish lad’s nose buried onto Liam’s neck and a soft smile etched on his lips, reminded Liam that back then there wasn’t football that set them leagues apart, and there weren’t relationships that complicated everything.

Niall returned with the box of pizza and a wad of money he was pocketing. He settled back on the bed beside Liam and laid the pizza on their legs. As they ate, Niall turned to Liam and asked, “Why didn’t you fight back to Jason? You knew all those kung fu–”

“–it’s called taekwondo–”

“–yeah, whatever you call it. The point is being you knew how to defend yourself but you still let them bully you. Aren’t you tired of getting pushed over by everyone? I can’t always be there to stop them from hurting you, Li,” Niall held Liam’s hand, “and I don’t want to lose you.”

“They’re not gonna kill me or anything,”

“So you’re just going to let them do that to you just because you have the assurance that they’re not gonna leave a fatal blow?”

“Because that’s what nerds are supposed to be,” said Liam, his jaw clenching, “a pushover and a punching bag. It’s my place in the norm, my spot in the food chain.”

“That’s it – a food chain?” Niall scoffed. “So you’re doing this because of a _fucking_ food chain?!”

“Don’t swear in my house–”

“I’ll fucking swear whenever I fucking want to!” Niall stood up and got off the bed. “God, Liam! Do you have any idea how I feel?! How I feel when I see you there getting tormented and getting hurt? Do you have any idea how painful that is for me to see?! I wanted to–” Niall’s lips trembled and his eyes started to water, “–to take your place, Li – let them punch me instead of you. If giving everything up would fix things, I would do it, Liam…”

“Why?” croaked Liam.

Niall sniffed. “W-Why what?”

“Why…are you still friends with me?” Niall looked at him disbelievingly. “You could have any friend, Niall,” added Liam, “but you still hang out with me and treat me like I’m worth something,” Liam looked down as his fingers fumbled, “and I don’t see why you should be doing that. I’m leagues down below you but you still fall down from your glory to be friends with me and that just feels like–”

Liam suddenly felt Niall’s calloused hands over his lips. “Shut up,” said Niall, straddling over him. “You can be an idiot sometimes, you know?” He leaned closer and removed his hand, settling it in between Liam’s arm. Niall pressed his nose against Liam’s, smiling goofily but still a drop of tear trailed down his cheek. “You idiot,” he breathed again, pressing closer until their eyes were only a few inches apart, “you compulsively insecure idiot. Do you really think I care about those stupid food chains? I don’t care if you’re leagues below me. You’re still _my_ Liam – my best friend – and if you keep saying that I shouldn’t be friends with anymore, I’ll smack you so hard.”

“I’m sorry,” said Liam, his cheeks burning.

Judging by how close Niall was to him, it was dizzying so much that Liam can’t think straight. He wanted to push him away, feel a bit of loosening to the tension building inside of him, but Liam knew that wouldn’t help in their current situation. Instead Liam wrapped his arms around Niall’s waist, and like an involuntary response, the younger lad pressed his body closer onto Liam’s. It was the wrong move, thought Liam. He could already feel something hardening under the fabric of his pants.

He could imagine it now: How he would lean forward and catch Niall’s lips, how Niall would back away and he would feel embarrassed, and how Niall would run away – that was the worst part. That he would run away.

“Niall…” The name just slipped out of his lips, along with the warm breath that now settled in between them. Liam wanted to take it back, pull back how wanting he sounded when he said his best friend’s name. Too late. Niall’s blue, blue eyes focused on his brown ones and the Irish lad’s cheeks slowly burned a light pink and he leaned further down, their lips almost brushing. Liam closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

But the inevitable didn’t happen.

Instead he felt Niall’s lips on his cheek, right by the cut. Liam tried to make the small grunt of frustration go unnoticed but Niall pulled back, staring at Liam like he did something wrong. The older lad offered him a smile. “’M fine,” said Liam.

Liam’s hold on Niall’s hips slowly loosened, his hands fell down on the duvet. He was suddenly aching to reach his hand back to where it was just to feel once more that strange sensation of intimacy which the two of them could only share when they were alone. It was the only thing keeping his sanity really: to know that he could still have Niall so close to him.

Maybe he should tell him already? But if that backfired at him, what happens to his saneness then? The thing that he and Niall shared was something he couldn’t recreate with anyone else. He couldn’t feel it with Zayn – though the raven haired lad was very much always looking out for him. After much debate, he just stared at Niall’s blue eyes and kept his lips shut.

“Want me to stay here tonight?” asked Niall. “It is a Friday, and mum wouldn’t mind.”

“Call Maura first,” said Liam. “And keep it general. I don’t want your mum telling mine about–” Liam gestured to his face “–all this.”

Niall nodded and went out the room to take the pizza box to the trash. When he came back, Niall was balancing his phone between his ear and shoulder while having a glass of water and some pain medicine in the other hand.

“Don’t worry, mum,” said Niall, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, we’ve eaten…uh, pizza…mum, you know I can’t cook…yeah, okay…bye, love you too.”

He closed his phone and laid it on the nightstand beside the medicine; the glass was situated farther away. Niall scooted back beside Liam, resting his head on the older lad’s shoulder and snuggling on his chest. “You smell heavenly…with a hint of antiseptic,” teased Niall.

“Please,” scoffed Liam. “And don’t you dare drool, Horan.”

“Do you wanna go to the carnival tomorrow?” asked Niall, giggling. “We could go ride the Ferris wheel. C’mon, it’ll be fun!”

Liam chuckled. “It’s not like I have a choice, do I?”

“Yay!” Niall hugged Liam tightly, pressing a light kiss on Liam’s jaw. “I love you, Liam.”

But Liam didn’t reply. It was not until Niall had fallen asleep, snoring so loudly that the brunette returned the kiss on the forehead, smiling and this time contentedly. “I love you too, Niall,” he whispered before closing his eyes. “I love you so much.”

_________________________

Liam woke up to a foggy Saturday morning. The clock said it was a quarter to six in the morning but he got up, leaving Niall to whine in his sleep because of the loss of warmth, and heading for the bathroom to wash his face.

He got dressed and grabbed his phone on the nightstand beside Niall’s. Before he could exit the room, Liam went back beside the bed and pulled out from his back pack a piece of paper and pen. He then left the note beside Niall’s phone and exited the house.

Outside, everything was obscured and it felt cold. Liam shoved his hands into the front pocket of his jacket and began his stride along the sidewalk through the light veil of fog. After a minute, he stopped at the intersection and fished out his phone, dialing Zayn’s number.

But he didn’t expect Zayn’s voice to burst through the speakers.

“Oh my god, Liam!” said Zayn frantically. “A-Are you okay? Hazza told me what happened.”

Liam waited for the car to pass before he crossed the road. “I’m okay. Niall slept with me last night.” Before he realized his sentence was pushing the wrong idea, the raven haired lad on the other end of the line already shrieked, probably jumping on his bed. “You know what I meant, Zayn,” said Liam. “It’s not like that… Stop it! He just slept. Literally…” Liam bit his lip, “Well, there was this…”

“What?! There was _what_?!” huffed Zayn. “Holy shit, Liam, tell me _everything_!”

“I’m a few blocks from yours,”

“You’re outside?” Something tumbled on Zayn’s end of the line and then Liam heard some grunting. “Okay, you know what, wait where you are. I’m coming out of the house. Where are you anyway?”

Liam squinted, peering through the fog until he saw the cozy lights of the 24-hour café on the other side of the road. “Calumn’s at Armitage Lane,” he replied.

“Good, go there,” said Zayn. “I’ll be there in a jiffy.”

“Why can’t I go to your house?”

“My sister’s classmates are having a sleepover here,” explained Zayn. “And as much as Waliyha loves you to be around…her friends don’t. So just on the safe side: Café.”

Liam waited for a few minutes, the barista greeting him good morning, before Zayn arrived in his jacket and sweatpants. His hair was still a mess – flat on one side and sticking out on the other – but Liam could see that Zayn couldn’t care less about his hair at the moment because there was a huge grin on his face and his opening sentence as he sat down was: “You, mister, will have to tell me everything!”

So Liam did, describing every bit to the raven haired lad who was staring at him expectantly with the huge grin still plastered on his face. He told him how he lost consciousness just when Niall along with Louis and Harry arrived.

“Hazza said you were bleeding!” commented Zayn, his smile shifted into a frown. “I’m sorry I left you yesterday, Li… I’ve been an ass. I should’ve stayed with you and maybe Jason wouldn’t have come and beat you up.”

“Well, I’ve been an ass to everyone yesterday,” said Liam. “So I think I deserved it.”

“You don’t!” insisted Zayn. “Hazza told me that Niall texted him last night, telling him that you keep on talking about some stupid food chain and about you being leagues below Niall.” Zayn raised his eyebrow. “And I take it Niall didn’t take that too well?”

Liam shook his head, a blush slowly creeping into his cheeks upon remembering what happened the night before. “He called me an idiot,” said Liam. “Then he started crying… Niall–he–he leaned in and–oh god…” By that time, Liam could feel the warm blood staining his cheeks.

“What?!” Zayn held back a squeal. “Heaven’s sake, Liam, don’t stop now! The suspense is killing me!”

“I thought he would kiss me, okay?!” spat Liam with a small whine. “But he just kissed my cheek… I _thought_ he felt the same way – that him being so close to me was _the_ moment – but I guess I was wrong. And then he asked me to go with him to the carnival tonight so I was thinking…”

“You’d tell him there,” added Zayn.

Liam nodded. “Niall said he wanted to ride the Ferris wheel so, I could tell him there. I-It’s a slow ride so maybe, I was thinking, I could have time to explain and-and he won’t run away – which is the worst case scenario – and he’d be okay with it, and t-then we’ll just pretend that nothing happened and then after that–”

“Liam, you’re rambling,” said Zayn. He took Liam’s hands and squeezed it tight. “You’ll be fine,” he whispered. “Don’t worry. I’m sure Ni would understand – or better yet, maybe he’ll tell you that same thing! Wouldn’t that be great?”

“Yeah,” replied Liam awkwardly. “I hope so…”

__________________________

Liam entered the house only to find Niall on the sofa, watching morning cartoons. He was curled up, legs pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around them. Even though Liam had already sat down beside him and had placed a coffee cup on the table, Niall’s eyes were still fixated on the TV.

“Good morning, Ni,” croaked Liam, unable to understand why Niall wasn’t talking nor paying attention to him. “Are…Are you alright?”

“Who walks in the foggy streets at six in the morning for a whole hour?!” barked Niall at Liam, jealousy apparent in his eyes but still unnoticed by Liam. “And you don’t even walk…you jog.”

“What do you want me to tell you?”

“Who were you with?”

“Niall, I–”

“ _Who_ were you with?”

“Zayn,”

“I knew it!” Niall stood up, stomping to the kitchen. He turned back on Liam who was still sitting on the couch. “You _were_ serious about that whole food chain thing! Bloody hell, Liam, you could’ve at least told me face to face that you were replacing me!”

“What?!” Liam’s mouth hung open. “I’m not replacing you with Zayn! You’re still my best friend!”

“You’re going out with him then?” Niall crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s only explanation why–”

“Niall, that’s not the only explanation!” yelled Liam. He stood up, glaring angrily at Niall. “If you’re so _keen_ on still having me as your best friend, then a little trust would be nice! And hell I won’t go out with Zayn – not in a million years! He’s not even gay!”

“Are you then?” Niall raised his eyebrow.

“What, now you’re turning all homophobic on me?!” growled Liam. “Yes, I’m gay, okay?! And–”

“–don’t raise your _fucking_ voice on me!–”

 _“–_ I _do_ like someone but I _can’t_ because I know that you won’t–” Liam voice faltered, stopping the rest of the sentence from slipping off his lips. Shit.

Niall’s eyes narrowed. “You know that I won’t what?”

 _Love me back_. Liam wanted to say it, just tell Niall the reason why he was enduring every hurt it took to distance himself. Why he wanted to go through degrees of separation. But he fought back both his and Zayn’s nagging voices in his head, and said nothing until…

“We _are_ different,” whispered Liam. “No matter what you say, the reality always comes knocking. You’re heaven and I’m the earth: We’re miles apart, Niall. Now more than ever.”

He walked out on Niall and headed for the kitchen. Liam dismissed the fact that Niall was ever in the house and angrily slammed the skillet onto the stove, turning the knob on loudly and the fire blazing too much.

So that’s one secret down, he thought. One more to go, and right now, he couldn’t even bare to imagine telling Niall in the Ferris wheel – if they would even _ride_ the Ferris wheel anymore.

Before he could even cook anything, Liam turned off the burner and leaned onto the stove, and sighed. He closed his eyes. His mom’s just been away for twenty-four hours and his friendship with Niall had already went for a fatal turn. Liam wished his sister was here; Nicola was always his confidant of almost every secret he had.

Liam headed for the sink and turned on the faucet, rubbing his hands rigorously under the flowing tap water. He’d hoped that all his problems would just go down the drain just like the water but Liam knew that wasn’t happening and would have to face Niall and tell him the truth – for better or for worse.

Hands still wet and eyes already starting to sting with tears, Liam suddenly gasped when he felt two arms snake around his abdomen. “I’m sorry,” he heard Niall murmur, the blonde nuzzling over on his shoulder blades. And so began the see-saw of their emotions once more, noted Liam. Angry at each other one moment and then, once both hurt, easing back into each other’s arms (or in this case, backs) asking for forgiveness.

Niall slowly dipped his chin down Liam’s shoulder, melding his chest with the taller lad’s muscled back, and Liam had turn (because he knew Niall was on tip-toes) and caught Niall by the hips. Without saying a word, Liam told Niall that the blonde was forgiven and that he was sorry as well, running his hand in circles on Niall’s back.

The blonde lad nuzzled the crook of Liam’s neck and softly purred, pleased to feel Liam’s warm skin on his. “Do you still wanna go to the carnival tonight?” he asked.

“Of course,” replied Liam.

________________________

It wasn’t too long before the bright lights, the screams and laughter, and Zayn’s very persistent voice had come back and made Liam realize that he had already emptied his second batch of popcorn. Zayn was beside him in the back of the raven haired lad’s car, typing on his phone. “He’s jealous.”

“No, he’s not,” said Liam. “Niall was just worried that he was being replaced.”

“And you’re nervous,” observed Zayn.

“Am not!” said Liam defensively.

“It’s okay to be nervous,”

“Shut up!”

“I’ll shut up when you stop cooping in my car,” Zayn glared, “start being a man, and just meet Niall by the Ferris wheel! C’mon, Liam, your best friend doesn’t have all night!”

Liam got out of the car grumbling and pulled his jacket closer to his body. It was mid-November and the night air was getting more and more chilly. Hopefully, his friendship wouldn’t go ice cold after this confession of his.

He took a deep breath and immersed himself into the crowd all scattered throughout the carnival. Lights of red, yellow, orange, green, and blue sparkled in almost every corner and the darkness of the night could only reside in the outskirts of the carnival. And the most thrilling sight to see was the large Ferris wheel, turning slowly.

But when he reached to the foot of the Ferris wheel, Niall wasn’t there. Liam went around the ride and found no sign of Niall. Where was he? As he leaned onto the railing encircling the ride, however, he saw a hint of blonde walking towards–

Oh no.

On the border of the night and the bright carnival, Niall was headed towards Jason and his cohorts. Liam’s mind started racing. If Niall was going to pick a fight with them, it wasn’t going to be a fair fight. Should he stop him? Wait, that was a stupid question – of course he should!

He ran towards them but two guys already held Niall’s arms as Jason looked down on Niall’s skinnier figure. Liam couldn’t understand what he was saying but when Niall kicked Jason’s chest and the latter punched him twice on the stomach, he ran faster.

Niall knelt down on the ground, wincing. Blood dripped down the side of his lips and he looked up at Jason who was sneering down at him.

“…shouldn’t keep stepping up for that fag friend of yours,” hissed Jason. “Yeah, we know he’s a homo. The way he looks at you, it’s pretty obvious, really. Bet he would love to suck that dick of–”

_WHAM!_

Liam toppled Jason to the ground with one quick kick. The lad groaned in pain, trying to get up but Liam kicked him on the chest, sending him back to ground. The two holding Niall lurched towards him but Liam ducked and grabbed one of them by the arm and slammed him to the grassy ground. The last one raged towards and he stepped aside, propping him right foot up, and tripping him.

“Next time,” growled Liam. “Think twice before hitting him. You’ll get more than that from me.”

Jason and the two other guys scrambled to get up and ran as fast they could. And as they ran farther away, Liam knelt down beside Niall, wiping the blood off his lips and chin with his jacket. Niall smiled at him and Liam hugged him tightly.

“You finally fought back,” whispered Niall.

Liam scoffed. “They could’ve beaten you up for good, you asshole. I wouldn’t forgive myself if they did.”

“Now you know what I feel,” said Niall, clutching his stomach. “How much it hurts.”

“Want me to take you home?” asked Liam.

“Ferris wheel,”

“Oh, c’mon, Ni, you’re hurt!”

“I’ll be fine,” insisted Niall. “As long as you take me for a ride on the Ferris wheel.”

Liam raised his eyebrow. “What’s with the Ferris wheel anyway?”

“I promised to take you,”

“Yeah right,” Liam helped Niall up, slinging Niall’s arm around his shoulder and his hand on the blonde’s waist. “I _agreed_ to come with you.”

After much discussion that took place in a minute or two, they made their way to the end of the line. All the time they were in line, Niall was silently looking up at the Ferris wheel as it revolved, leaning on Liam as support. His stomach hurt still.

When they got in, it was a different story. Niall became so excited, mentioning things he forgot to bring like some food and a camera. All of which Liam insisted the blonde could bring next time they rode the Ferris wheel.

“It’s so pretty up here!” shouted Niall as they reached the peak. Below them, they could see the streetlights, the windows of lighted houses, and the people below whom were transformed to no smaller than ants.

“Yeah,” agreed Liam. But he wasn’t looking at the sight below them anymore but rather at the sight beside him. He had been completely mesmerized by Niall now. Liam’s eyes were drowning at the sight of Niall’s laugh and his pale cheeks burning a soft hue of pink. “So beautiful.”

Niall turned his head towards him, their eyes meeting, and Liam felt like he was gonna throw up. Nervousness suddenly caught up with him upon the realization that the clock was ticking and that in a minute or so the ride would end and he wouldn’t be able to confess to Niall his feelings.

“Ni,” Liam gulped, “promise me something?”

The blonde’s expression shifted. His eyebrows furrowed, noticing how Liam had paled up a bit. “Liam? What’s wrong? You don’t look so good…”

“Promise me something,” contended Liam. “Please?”

“O-Okay…”

“Promise me you won’t get mad–”

“Li, what are you talking–”

“–promise me you won’t leave,” Liam’s eyes started to sting and water, “and that you’ll stay here, with me. Promise me we’ll still be friends…and that we’ll act like nothing happened.”

Fear was evident in Niall’s eyes. His mind was going over the things Liam had said would’ve meant. He was scared of what he was going to hear. “Li–”

A gasp escaped Niall’s lips, his eyes widened. He was taken aback when Liam leaned closer to him and kissed him softly on the lips. Niall could taste the salty tears that were going down Liam’s cheeks at that moment. He remained still.

Liam suddenly held him a little too tightly by the waist and Niall flinched, breaking their kiss off. The brunette started crying harder, thinking that it was over – that he was right about Niall never loving him back. But as shrunk farther from Niall inside the Ferris wheel carriage, the blonde reached for his hand.

“Sorry,” Niall grimaced, “my stomach still hurts…”

“Y-You’re–” Liam hiccupped, “–you’re not angry?”

“Why would I be?”

“But I kissed–”

Liam’s words were lost, eclipsed by the strange sensation that began to rush again through his veins. As the cold autumn night’s wind which slowly dried his tears blew hardest by the time of their carriage’s descent from the peak of the Ferris wheel, Niall had his arms coiled around Liam’s neck and his lips locked against the brunette’s.

He surged forward, tugging the brunette’s lower lip before parting his own lips as he pressed harder against Liam, and letting their tongues and warm breaths mingle with each other. Liam’s hands settled on Niall’s hips, his thumbs drawing circles on the fabric that separated his lightly tanned skin from Niall’s pale one.

They parted open-mouthed, Niall nudging Liam’s nose with his, and smiling. Liam stared at Niall endearingly and nudged back, their lips almost connecting again. “I love you,” breathed Liam, the heaviness in his chest disappearing in an instant.

“Too long,” replied Niall. “So long a wait before I heard you say it.”

Liam smirked. “Well, I’ve grown a pair and managed to say it.”

Niall chuckled, chastely kissing Liam. “I love you too.”

“Come on you two love birds! You’re making a scene!” Louis stood at the gate of the Ferris wheel ride, bellowing at them while sporting a huge grin his face. The people on the line turned to him but he just laughed, leaning onto the taller lad beside him who was laughing too, dimples showing.

“Yeah, Captain Horan,” agreed Harry, grinning as well. “Save some for later.”

After passing through the surprised look of carnival goers who knew them and saw Liam and Niall holding hands, Louis and Harry finally led them to the car park where Zayn was waiting, finishing off a huge cloud of cotton candy.

“I dare say it worked then, Li?” he said, his eyebrow quirking up.

“Shut up, Z,” said Liam, blushing.

All of them laughed, their merry laughter echoing through the parking lot. But Liam and Niall were more mindful of each other than the three friends with them. Louis made a gagging sound and flailed his hands. “Eeew, they’re gonna make out again!” he screeched.

“Aww, c’mon, Boo,” cooed Harry. “It’s not like we don’t do that…”

“Yes, but not in public!” insisted Louis.

In the end, they all ended up boarding Zayn’s car. After they had dropped off Harry and Louis at Harry’s house, Zayn drove back to drop Liam and Niall back to Liam’s house. Zayn gave Liam a quick wink before driving off.

As Zayn’s car disappeared into the distance, Niall pulled Liam in for a kiss. And Liam had to smile because it had been so long since the two of them were this happy. Almost was a thing of the past now because they were in love and they both knew it.

And Liam will never be faking smiles for Niall ever again.


End file.
